


Fiona Folds

by DarkSideOfThePillow



Category: The Loud House (Cartoon)
Genre: BBC, Big black cock, Comedy, Cumplay, Facial, Humor, Lemons, Missionary, Multi, Nudity, Porn, Role Playing, Sex, Smut, Teasing, Threesome, Vaginal Sex, blowjob, cringeworthy jokes, cum, interracial
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-29
Updated: 2018-07-29
Packaged: 2019-06-18 02:14:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,542
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15475254
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DarkSideOfThePillow/pseuds/DarkSideOfThePillow
Summary: Ace Savvy and One Eyed Jack deal out some justice on the newest Loud House QT Fiona. (Lemons, smut, lots of stupid jokes. I do not own The Loud House).





	Fiona Folds

**Author's Note:**

> DISCLAIMER: This story contains sexual content with consenting adults.

 

Ace Savvy and One Eyed Jack are on the case.

Following the success of their last investigation regarding some missing scarves and a little kid who spends an unhealthy amount of time in the dark closets of department stores, it seems like everyone wants them to crack even their most predictable cases.

Today’s painstaking assignment involves finding out who took up Ms. Carmichael’s parking space, which really is something security should be taking care of, if not for their meddling with Scoots and shit.

So, Lincoln Loud and Clyde McBride put on their tight spandex leotards to “deal out some justice” as they often say, and now find themselves hiding behind a rack of bras, keeping their eyes peeled on their prime suspect…

Fiona.

The girl is damn thicc. She wears a pair of tight blue jeans that really hug against her big round ass, which is Linc’s savvy. She also has the legs rolled up to show her pretty white ankles, which Clyde’s one eye can’t stop staring at.

Her pink striped shirt makes her boobs look really big, and the more Clyde watches them jiggle as she walks, the more he feels like his nose could bleed. It doesn’t help that he’s literally drooling over the bras shielding him.

Lincoln meanwhile has to stuff his Little Savvy in his waistband, because seeing her yellow choker puts images of her bobbing her head back and forth in his mind’s eye.

The more they creep, the more their eighteen year old minds forget they’re supposed to be pretend superheroes or some shit. All they can focus on is what they wanna do to eighteen year old Fiona all over the store, and how they would do her.

By the way, they’re all eighteen now. Whoops.

Serendipitously, the two costumed gents look to one another as they watch her put some T-Shirts on a shelf. Her booty does all sorts of moving in the process.

The boys wear looks of nervous shame for a moment, but then get over it as they realize literally every dude is a fucking pervert.

“Damn, Jack. I wonder what her red diamond looks like. Know what I’m sayin’?” Lincoln jokes.

“Unf. I kind of wanna see what her black club can do, Ace,” Clyde ripostes.

“I don’t get it?” Lincoln admits.

“I wanna fuck her butthole,” Clyde explains.

“Oh. Uh… That’s cool,” Lincoln says with a bit of a wince.

She drops one of the shirts she’s trying to put away, and groans with annoyance. She tries just kneeling down to pick it up, unawaringly granting the boys a view of her bodacious bosom with the angle from where they creep on her.

If that wasn’t enough, she drops the stupid shirt again midway, and just goes ahead and bends over to retrieve it without a care at who can catch a glance at her derriere.

And yes, Lincoln and Clyde get a glance. Enough to last their spankbanks a lifetime.

“Holy Hoyle, Jack! There’s enough junk in that trunk to make me drop a full deck!” Lincoln tells his sidekick.

“You ain’t kidding. My  _ one eyed jack  _ is harder than a prosthetic leg right now!”

“Why do you always have to make it weird, Clyde?”

“I don’t know I’m dressed like a fucking Neverland Pirate right now it’s hard to have any dignity,” Clyde bemoans. “Hey, weren’t we supposed to be investigating if she stole that parking spot or something?” he says, perking up a bit.

“Oh yeah,” Lincoln simply says, “Alright, let’s go interrogate her.”

She’s still bent over though, so they actually just end up standing there and doing nothing but looking for a while.

“Okay,  _ now  _ let’s go question her,” Lincoln says when she stands upright. With that, the boys make sure that their underrated heroes are still tucked in their waistbands, and then they decide to spring into action.

Lincoln’s abnormally big feet get caught on the rack though, and he ends up tripping and falling over like an idiot, sending all the bras falling to the floor with him.

Fiona looks over with an agitated grimace, and then trudges over all huffy and puffy about it.

“Seriously? You two clowns again? Don’t you have anything better to do than dress up like Bronies and screw up my day?” she scolds with fury in her gait.

While Clyde just stands there looking like Beavis smiling a cringey pervy smile at her, Lincoln hurriedly stands himself up and dusts off his tights before posing with confidence.

“We’ll do the question asking here,  _ Fiona,”  _ he sternly begins. “Rumor has it that you’ve taken up your boss’ exclusive parking spot.”

“Pfft, what’s the big deal if I did or didn’t?” she scoffs as she crosses her arms.

“Oh, I’ll show you the  _ big deal,”  _ Clyde says while alluringly raising his brows at her.

“Clyde, shut up,” Lincoln demands.

“The big deal is that you’re breaking the law. And we as defenders of all that is virtuous in the world-”

“Lincoln, shut up,” Clyde now butts in.

“Right,” Lincoln concedes. “Look, just move your car so we can go get some tacos.”

Fiona sourly squints her eyes. “Well, I’m not moving my car. At this hour, there’s no way I’ll be able to find a better parking space.”

“I bet there’d be some tight fits in that lot,” Clyde can’t help but comment.

“Dude!” Lincoln scolds.

Fiona just rolls her eyes. But Lincoln and Clyde get serious again.

“Look, if you don’t move your car-” Linc begins.

“You’ll do what? Toss some cards at me or some stupid shit like that?” the brunette with the big bust rebuts with a wicked grin.

“Actually, we’ll tell your boss…” Lincoln says with a wicked grin of his own.

“Go ahead! Try and call his bluff!” Clyde wittily adds.

“Okay, like I care. I’ll just move it before she finds out, and then I’ll tell her you two were being weird about the bras again,” Fiona argues.

“You can try. But just know that we can have security pull up camera footage of the parking lot!” Lincoln asserts.

“This plot is so contrived,” Fiona says as she shakes her head and facepalms.

She does a double take to make sure that no one else is around, and then levels with the so-called heroes.

“Okay, I tell you what. We can work something out. Why don’t you two follow me to the back, and we’ll see if we can…  _ Make a deal…”  _ she says with a little smile and bite of her lip.

Lincoln gets wide eyed as he realizes what she means, but Clyde doesn’t pick up on the innuendo.

“I don’t see how going to the back resolves the issue of the car being parked in the-”

“Clyde,” Lincoln says with an elbow to his side. “She means she wants to  _ play a game  _ with us.”

Clyde meets him with dubiousness, then looks to Fiona. She rolls her eyes again before pointing to his now protruding erection.

He blushes. “Ohhhh… Right…”

She just shakes her head before turning around to escort them to the back room. “Right this way boys…”

They gayly smile and hold hands like total spazzes, “Score!” and then follow her bouncing asscheeks to her evil lair.

\-----------------------

Once in the backroom of the store, Fiona meets the boys, who are all but geeking out, with a firm glower.

“Before we do this, I’m warning you fuckers now. If you tell anyone about this, I’ll rip both your dicks off and send them to Dick Duck,” she threatens.

“It’s Bill Buck,” Lincoln corrects.

“Whatever. Just… Shut the fuck up, and let’s make this quick,” she tells them.

They gayly smile at one another again, and simply watch as she sits her big ass down on a table in the center of the room. She begrudgingly sighs, “Alright, I’m ready whenever you are.”

They nod with approval, and coolly make their way over to her.

“Alright, let’s see those titties!” Clyde excitedly cries while rubbing his sweaty palms together and letting his tongue fall from his mouth.

“Titties? Really?” Fiona groans before looking to Lincoln, almost hoping he’ll smack his companion upside the head. He doesn’t though. He just haughtily hovers over her.

“Well? You heard the man,” he tells her.

She sighs the same displeased sigh, and then reluctantly lifts her shirt up to where her right breast falls from her shirt.

“Oh fuck! You weren’t even wearing a bra?!” the white haired hero blurts out.

“That’s pretty ironic considering you work in a clothing store,” Clyde stoically points out.

“Ugh… You too are so lame! I can’t believe I’m even showing you this!” she growls as she lowers her shirt again.

“Now hold on,” Lincoln says, placing his hand to hers. “We only got to see  _ one  _ of your tits. I believe Jack said, ‘let’s see those  _ titties.’” _

Fiona just shakes her head again before deciding to remove her top all together, revealing her succulent breasts and her tantalizing tummy. 

“Here. Are you happy now that you’ve seen both my ‘titties?’” she condescendingly teases.

The boys disregard her snarkiness because they’re too enamored with her bare jugs.

“Wow…” Lincoln utters.

“They’re perfect,” Clyde comments.

Fiona can’t help but blush and smile a little, but quickly goes back to her hardened front.

“Whatever,” she retorts.

“You know, I can’t think of anything that makes me feel better than holding a good pair in my hands,” Lincoln insinuates.

Fiona narrows her eyes at him again, but then decides to concede and sit up so that he can get an ample frame of her figure. “Go ahead. Give ‘em a grope. Why not?” she sardonically permits.

With very little hesitation, Lincoln is first to wrap his hands around her breasts. He gently cups his thumbs against her underboob, feeling her button nipples hardening against his palms.

“Fuck yeah. These are two of a kind, right here.”

“Well don’t hog them to yourself. Let me get in on this!” Clyde complains, and Linc frees her left breast for his friend to fondle.

Fiona just sits there with a discomfited expression of a mug as they rub their grimey paws all over her womanhood, but she can’t help but feel a tingling between her legs with every squeeze they give her. A sense of serenity comes to her as they begin kissing and sucking on her areolas, and Clyde even licks his claimed breast, going as far as to actually reach up to her collar.

“Ugh, you’re so-- weird!” Fiona hiccups, trying to hide just how nice his tongue feels riding up her skin.

“I can’t help it! You’re so beautiful!” he reasons.

“Don’t call me that you… you-!” she tries to insult, but she fails to find the words as the sensation of Lincoln pinching her nipple overwhelms her. She bites her lip again as she watches him slowly work his kisses up to her neck, some of his white hairs faintly tickling her jaw.

Suddenly, Clyde places his hands on her face, and coerces her into kissing him. Stunned, she simply accepts it, allowing him to even roll his tongue into her mouth before she finds herself joining him, even somehow managing to  _ enjoy  _ it.

Lincoln takes his turn next, grabbing her by the hair of her neck to break her away from Clyde’s lips. He intently gazes into her brown eyes, and the total lack of respect she conveyed in them before has been replaced by a weak, lustful understanding.

“You’ve been a bad girl. You need to pay for your crimes,” he tells her.

“I think you’ll need to introduce me to the penal system,” she softly says.

“That’s more like it,” Lincoln agrees before pulling her into a kiss of his own.

As he kisses her, he slides his hand down to her crotch, rubbing his gloved hands against her denim covered cootchie. Clyde watches all the while, feeling his cock grow harder and fatter by the second.

“I think it’s time we shuffled the deck, Ace,” Clyde tells him.

The other two stop kissing to look to him, and Fiona nods with understanding.

“I guess I should make myself comfortable,” she says, and she begins by pulling her legs up on the table to remove her shoes.

While she exposes her freshly pedicured tootsies, Clyde and Lincoln decide they’d like to get a little more comfortable as well.

Lincoln takes initiative, pulling his tights down enough to reveal his erect penis. It’s a solid piece of equipment, certainly nothing to laugh at, except for maybe the little patch of white pubic hair above its glory.

“What do you think, Fiona? Is this what you had in mind?” he asks her.

“Wow… All this time you’re the last person I expected to have such a big dick,” she admits.

“Well, you know what they say about guys with big feet,” Lincoln quips.

The other two look to Clyde, who takes a deep breath. “Alright, my turn I guess…”

He pulls down his pants to reveal his  _ enormous  _ black cock. Not only does Fiona literally gasp upon witnessing its girth, but even Lincoln can’t help but stare at it.

“Damn, Clyde! You could beat someone to death with that thing!” he blurts out.

“I’ll say! That’s as big as my forearm! Literally!” Fiona says as she holds it up to compare sizes.

“Heh heh… What can I say? It’s my super power…” he brazenly says.

Fiona looks to Lincoln with a flirty, devious smile.

“And what’s your power, Mr. Savvy?” she asks.

“My power? I think it’ll be better if I just show you…” he says, and he unbuttons her jeans before unzipping her zipper.

“Well well… I might just have to start parking in Ms. Carmichael’s spot more often,” she jokes as Lincoln begins tugging her pants down.

As he wraps her jeans around her ankles, Clyde steps forward, dangling his big black cock in Fiona’s face.

“You know, sucking on it might help some of the swelling go down,” he says with another alluring eyebrow raise.

Although unimpressed by their lame costumes and stupid one liners, she can’t help but be swayed by their impeccable penises. So she smiles before taking Clyde’s in her hand.

“You’re such losers,” she quips before wrapping her glossy lips around the tip of his anaconda.

The touch of her mouth on his dickhead sends shivers down his spine, and he does everything he can not to reduce to a puddle as she gets into the groove of sucking on dick. She can’t even reach halfway down his cock, it’s so big.

“Jesus… It’s huge!” she cries as she wraps both hands around it just to prove her point.

As she admires his throbbing black rod, Lincoln works on discarding Fiona’s underwear. She pulls them to the side to reveal her slippery pink pussy, which is freshly shaven and splendidly warm.

“And now to show you  _ my  _ power,” he says as he brings his mouth to her genitals. He starts with a hardy, slow lick from bottom of her lips to the top of her clitoris. She gasps for air as he does.

“Oh shit! Don’t tease me like that you fucking twerp!” she shouts before Clyde crams his dick back in her mouth.

“Remember, Fiona… You’re here to pay for your crimes. I’ll do as I please  _ how  _ I please,” he assures her before slipping his tongue back into her vagina. He prods the tip in, fucking her pussy with it like a toy, and she lets out muffled moans with pleasure while gagging on Clyde.

“Yeah, yeah you like that, don’t you bitch,” Clyde utters before taking his cock out of her mouth and smacking her face with it a couple times.

“Say you like that! Say you like Mr. Roundtree slapping your face!”

Fiona meets him with a confused expression, and Lincoln stops eating her cunt to do the same.

“Mr. Roundtree?” they both repeat.

“Sorry… I got caught up in the moment. Disregard,” Clyde says before the youths go back to their oral skullduggery.

Clyde can feel his balls riding up into his tummy just before Fiona grabs a hold of them, cupping them in her soft hand and rolling them around, just stirring up the little soldiers dancing around in there.

“OHhohoho…” he moans.

Fiona has to take a break from being a chickenhead to catch her breath though, because Lincoln flicking his tongue up and down her muff is becoming almost debilitating. Her toes curl up, her face scrunches up, and she’s all but screaming as he finally sticks a finger inside of her.

“Fuck, fuck,  _ fuck,  _ you fucking jerk!” she squeals.

“Shit!” Lincoln cries as he’s forced to back away from her gushing puss.

“Oh my orgasm, Ace! You really made her squirt!” Clyde proclaims.

“Well, I hope she can keep going, because I’ve gotta do something about the swelling on my dick too,” Lincoln explains as he shows off his red, shaky rocket.

Fiona takes a deep breath, and nods. “Yeah, yeah I can keep going,” she tiredly lets out. “Just don’t you cum too fast, One Eyed Willy. Give me a tap on the head or something.”

“I uh… I have a thing for facials just so you know…” Clyde confesses as Fiona gets back to slobbing his knob.

“What?! I’m not letting you do that!” she whines.

“Hey, if you wanna keep your job, you’ll let him bust on your feet if he wants to,” Lincoln says.

“You’re uh… you’re not that weird, are you?” Fiona asks Clyde, who just nervously smiles.

“Let’s just focus on her face for now, Jack. I wanna see what her beauty mark looks like covered in cum,” Lincoln teases as he uses his finger to boop her facial blemish.

“Ugh! Sick!” she moans. But like a good little Reiningers employee, she puts her grievances to the side to satisfy the customers.

“And actually, I think right now I wanna focus on this,” Lincoln restates, looking down to the dripping wet pussy before him. He eyes it like a hungry wolf, and then eases his dick up her thigh and to the lips of it.

“Oh god… I don’t know, kid. I might not be able to handle it very long,” Fiona admits as he Lincoln inches his twitching cock nearer to her slit.

“Honestly, I might not either. But I’d at least like to feel this before I splooge everywhere,” Lincoln admits too, wrapping his hand around her right ankle, using his other mit to press his cock inside of her.

“Ooooaaaaaaaah!” she moans as it breaks inside of her. “It feels really good! Fuck! I hate you little fuckers!” she exclaims.

Slowly and steadily, Lincoln gains momentum with every thrust of his hips. He watches as Fiona’s juicy thighs slap against his spandex as well as he can, because his eyes want to roll to the back of his head.

He’s not the only one though. Fiona’s eyes  _ are  _ rolling as she feels his thick cock pounding her, nearly perturbing her womb the thing is fucking her so hard. She can feel her nerves becoming shot, but her raw, sexual instincts sway her to keep licking and sucking on Clyde’s even fatter prick.

And the poor guy, his knees are so shaky that he has to grab a hold of the table just so he won’t fall over.

“Fuck, guys… I’m not gonna be able to hold back much longer,” he wearily lets out.

Lincoln’s humps become slower and more feeble as his face turns beat red. “Yup. Fuck. Me either…”

They look down to Fiona, who is grabbing her tit as Lincoln keeps smashing into her. She nebulously looks to them for a moment before their words finally register in her head.

“Alright… Alright… I gotta cum too,” she tells, deciding to not even try and lie about it.

With the agreement made, Lincoln frees himself from her cunt, and Clyde flings his wonder of a penis away from her face.

Fiona steps off the table, and positions herself on her knees. She rests her booty over the soles of her feet, and grabs the two boys by their cocks.

“Just… For god’s sake… Try not to get any in my hair or my eyes. I have to go back out on the floor when we’re done here.”

“We’ll uh… Do our best,” Clyde weakly says.

“I can’t say the same for that beauty mark… Or that choker,” Lincoln shamelessly says.

Fiona doesn’t respond with words, she just looks into his eyes as she strokes his Savvy with the same longing look in her eyes as before. She then meets Clyde with the same look as she jacks off his Jack. 

Where Lincoln tries so hard to keep his cool, she knows he’s beside himself deep down. He couldn’t have dreamed of this happening today. Even so, she can’t help but find his attitude pretty hot. And Clyde? She can’t help but find his polarizing shamelessness pretty cute too. Dorky, yes. But still cute.

“Alright, you said you wanted to cum all over my face. Are you faggots all talk? Or are you gonna paint me white?” she teases.

“But- but you said-?!” Clyde babbles.

“Oh shit… I can’t take it anymore…  _ Fiona!”  _ Lincoln cries.

Not long after, he shoots thick, white sticky strands of semen all over her face like an UNO attack machine. Without even meaning to, he perfectly covers her beauty mark with it, along with half her face, and even her chest.

She winces, but she accepts it as she keeps jerking his ejaculating errection up and down. “Disgusting…”

“Damn it… That’s so hot!” Clyde cries.

And like his partner in crime fighting, he too dumps his cum all over her perfect face. And, unlike Lincoln, he gets it right in her left eye.

“Ow! You bastard!” Fiona yells, but she still tugs on his black cock. She has a job to keep after all.

They finish blasting their super sized loads all over her, and step back to… fall on their asses.

“Phew! I could fall over and die!” Lincoln proclaims.

“I think we already did. This is what heaven is like!” Clyde states.

Fiona coughs, letting what cum that fell into her mouth get right back out.

“Yeah. This is heaven. Sitting on your knees in a dark closet and letting two skinny fat asses bust their nuts all over you,” she complains as she repositions herself Indian style. She wipes some of the nasty cum off her face, and flings it to the side.

“Christ, McBride… I specifically said  _ don’t  _ get any in my eye!” she scolds as she cleans her eye off, and then flicks a little that landed on her right ear.

“At least I didn’t get any in your hair?” he says with a nervous smile.

Fiona tries using just her hands to wipe the nectar off her face, but she just feels messier because of it.

Realizing she’s growing frustrated, Ace puts his dick’s cap on to detective a solution to her problem. The epiphanic light bulb goes off over his head as she devises a plan.

“I’ve got it! Fiona, use your choker to clean up our cum!”

She thinks about it for a moment, and then decides to untie the yellow fabric from her neck for his suggested purpose.

“Alright… I guess it’s better than nothing…” she bemoans.

She wipes all the goo off with the cloth, and the boys just watch with amazement. The girl looks damn good wiping cum off of herself.

“Okay, I think I got it all,” she says as she removes the cloth from her now cleaned face. “How do I look?”

The boys exchange a brief glance, and then Lincoln clears his throat. “Uhm, you got it all… But now you have to figure out what to do with all the residue.”

Fiona simply raises a brow.

“I think you should put it in your mouth. Suck the thing dry,” Lincoln finishes.

“What?! No fucking way! You’re seriously twisted if you think I’m gonna-”

“Ahem…  _ Security footage of the parking lot…”  _ Clyde taunts.

Fiona scowls. “Fine!” she petulantly cries, and she looks to the cum covered cloth with disdain. “Oh god… I can’t believe I’m actually doing this…”

She does as she was told, easing the cumrag into her mouth little by little. While she wants to gag at first, she finds it easier to stomach as its taste becomes…  _ pleasant. _

“Wow… This stuff actually tastes good,” she voices aloud. “What’s wrong with me?”

Lincoln deviously smiles at Clyde now, who returns the gesture with one of his own.

“I know what’s wrong. You said you were gonna cum, and you didn’t,” Lincoln states.

“Oh yeeeeah…” Clyde responds. “She did say she needed to cum! Man… We really left her hanging, huh?”

Fiona gets wide eyed as she drops the choker. “Well… I mean…”

“Oh, we insist on helping you,” Lincoln affirms. “After all, it’s our duty to help others.”

With that, Lincoln paces over to her, carrying a predator’s presence with him. Fiona helplessly watches on, her previous disposition once again cowering. The white haired man kneels down to her level, and ghosts his hand to her crotch.

“Let’s see if I can make you feel as good as I did earlier…”

“Get her, Ace,” Clyde encourages.

Slowly, Lincoln slides his two fingers through her lips and into her pocket. She sharply gasps for air, closing her eyes because the rush of pleasure is so sudden. Spider-Man style, he surges his fingers through her as rapidly as he can, doing his best to force her into spritzing more of her juices.

She moans loudly as he keeps going, smiling his same wicked smile all the while. “This is what you get Fiona. This is what you get for being such a bad girl!”

“I’ve been a bad girl!” she cries.

“A naughty girl!” Lincoln adds.

“A  _ naughty  _ girl!” Fiona repeats.

“A  _ whore…” _

She lets out a hair raising scream as more girl cum oozes from her pussy, creating a puddle all over the floor. It’s hot. It’s sticky…

Lincoln shoves his fingers into her mouth, forcing her to taste it.

It’s  _ tasty. _

Once the deed has been finished, Lincoln stands on his feet, and Fiona falls to her back, fighting to breathe after such a spellbinding orgasm.

“Well, I think she learned her lesson, Jack,” he proudly states.

“You know, I’d like to think she did too,” Clyde agrees. “But I’d be lying if I didn’t say I’d like to her to get in trouble more often.”

They look down to her resting slender body, and she does her best to sit up and convalesce.

“All I’m gonna say is… Don’t tell my boss about this. Don’t tell  _ anyone  _ about this…” she pleas.

Lincoln and Clyde share another smile.

“Don’t worry. We’ll keep that in the cards,” Lincoln replies. “But just you know… I’d like to put my ace in that hole again. And soon.”

Fiona tries to frown all grumpy like, but a smile creeps on her face.

“Fair enough.”

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Hey there. Thanks for reading.
> 
> So, long story short, this was mostly an exhibition to see how much I could write over a 24 hour period, and doing something about my lust for Fiona. I say that because, if I cared more, I could’ve probably done better. Oh well.
> 
> Also, I want to thank everyone out there making Fiona fan art. There are too many of you to single out and shout out, but you’re all awesome. I will be lame though and say, lowpolyloli has an awesome NSFW tumblr with a picture of Leni taking a facial that almost killed me dead. Check that out if you want to die a happy death.
> 
> Anyway, hope you had fun reading, and thanks again.


End file.
